When I was a kid, there was a popular TV and book series called “The Get Along Gang.” Featuring a cast of talking animals, these friends had to learn to get along with each other despite their differences. (Which I imagine were fairly significant - there was a moose, a lion, and a bear among other species, so harmonizing must have been no easy task.) Each week, they dealt with an important lesson, whether it was learning to share, being kind, or telling the truth. 

 

Somewhere along the way, though, these lessons we learn as kids become less and less important. As adults, having success and beating the next guy become our priority. Being "respected" often feels more desirable than being "nice." You might even hear that getting along is for kids and that to thrive in your career, you need to be assertive, competitive, and tough.

 

But is that really true?

Not quite. In fact, not at all.

 

While many of us believe that getting along with people might make us look weak and open us up to being taken advantage of, the reality is the opposite. If you want personal and professional success, you need to build strong relationships. When you get along with others, not only do you create harmony within your team, you also open yourself up to new opportunities and career advancement. It also makes going to work a whole lot less stressful.

 

The good news is that improving your ability to get along with others doesn’t require a lot of work. There are three simple steps you and your team can take to become more approachable and yes, more likable. And no, being likable doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. You can get along with everyone and still be strategic and assertive.

 

So, let's look at the ABCs of getting along

 

            1. Ask Questions

And I don’t just mean task-oriented ones, or questions about the job. Show genuine interest in the people around you. Asking thoughtful questions shows that you value their input and perspectives (and when it comes down to it, most people love being given the opportunity to talk about themselves!)  Ask them how their day off was. Ask them how their kid likes their new teacher. Use phrases like “oh wow, then what happened?” or “that sounds amazing, what happened next?”. Nod, smile, and give them cues you're paying attention.

 

Asking questions shows you're geuninely interested in someone as a person. And don't we all like people who are interested in us? More importantly, it also shows that you’re listening (active listening is one of my all-time favorite ways to build rapport). Think about how awkward it is to tell someone a story and they don’t respond with any interest. You don’t want to be that guy.  

 

           2 . Be Empathetic

Captain G.M. Gilbert, a psychologist in the mid-20th century, observed the Nuremberg Trials following World War II. These proceedings brought high-ranking Nazi officials to justice for war crimes so horrific they defied belief. Gilbert’s goal was to attempt to understand what could persuade these individuals to participate in such atrocities. Was it their background or education? Their age or socio-economic status? Possibly religion or political beliefs?

 

What he discovered was almost frighteningly simple. “Evil, I think,” he concluded, “is the absence of empathy.”

 

This absence of empathy was the one unifying factor amongst every single Nazi. It had nothing to do with their intelligence or upbringing. Nothing to do with circumstance or schooling. It was simply their inability or unwillingness to see others as fully human.  They could not feel the pain or care about the suffering of the “other”.

 

Empathy isn’t just helpful in the workplace. It shapes how we relate to one another in every area of our lives. It is not about agreeing with everyone or excusing bad behavior. Instead, empathy is about recognizing and validating the emotions and experiences of others.

Take the time to understand where people are coming from. Acknowledge their feelings and make them feel heard. You might be surprised how much tension can dissolve and collaboration can flourish with just a little understanding.

 

        3  Compliment Others

When my 5 year old daughter asked me how she can make friends, I told her to get ready, cause I was going to give her a cheat code she should remember the rest of her life. I simply told her to tell them something to make them feel good about themselves. “Oh your hair looks pretty” or “I like your shirt” became her secret to making friends.

 

Why? Cause it works. Don’t underestimate the power of a sincere compliment. Saying, “You handled that difficult customer so well,” or “You're really good at explaining things” can uplift morale and strengthen relationships. Just make sure to remember - this isn’t about fake flattery. Don’t be a fawning toady.  Just think about all those times in your head when you thought someone else looked great or did an exceptional job at work, but decided to keep such thoughts to yourself. Next time, say them out loud! People always remember the times when someone made them feel good about themselves, and I guarantee you that it will win you a place on everyone’s nice list.

 

Getting along with others doesn’t mean you have to compromise your values. It doesn’t mean you need to be fake or phony or let others walk all over you. Instead, it’s about being intentional in how you interact and building bridges where they matter. The skills we learned from shows like “The Get Along Gang” may have seemed like simple childhood lessons, but they’re just as important when applied to our adult lives.